Some Things Porn Doesn’t Show You About Sex

I’ve been thinking about my sexual performance lately. I’ve been on a mission to forget all that I learned about sex through porn, and just figure out sex while I’m having it. Basically, I want to be more authentic while having sex. One thing I want to do less of is moaning when I’m not really feeling it. (Don’t you think the women in porn seem to moan at the drop of a feather?) One thing I want to do more of is really sit back and let someone take their time eating me out and do what actually feels good. I shouldn’t be trying to put on a performance, and after having sex this way for a while, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m rather bad at having sex. Ok, maybe I’m dramatizing a little! But it did get me thinking, what else does porn not teach us about sex?
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1. It’s a damn workout

Let me tell you, lazy sex does not good sex make. And good sex is a damn workout! Being someone lazy, I am quite content to just sit there and have sex happen to me, but apparently that makes for a bad sex partner or something, so yeah, I’m going to have to put in some work. Generally, the most work I have to do is riding him, but if you’re a man (or just taking a turn at being the penetrating partner), it is quite a cardio workout! All that pumping and grinding! If you watch porn, you’d think that having sex was as easy as eating a burrito. These men don’t seem to even break a sweat! But I’ve literally stopped sex just so I could take a break and get some water. I mean, come on!

porn-left-out-22. There will be noises

Uhm, real sex is noisy, man. Not just the moaning, but more like the squeak of the bed, the queefs, accidental farts, sounds of flesh on flesh slapping, and everything else in between. Sure you get to hear the slaps, and flesh pounding in porn, but never have I heard an accidental fart or a queef in porn. Why? Because those are not sexy sounds!

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3. The amount of liquid

Real sex is a messy venture! There are juices everywhere, things get wet and slippery, liquids can get stuck in your hair or beard, and sometimes it can even taste funky. Yeah, it’s not bad, but it can definitely get very wet and soggy. It surprised me to learn that women could get that wet, and I didn’t learn about women who could squirt until much later in my life. There is so much porn where women seem to have almost no moistness in their vaginas that, when I first had sex, I wondered why I was so damn soggy.

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About Coleen Singer

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

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