I am probably just a regular guy with a dirty mind like many out there. I am educated and enjoy having a demanding job in which I am, and have to be, confident and in control most of the time. In my private life and relationships I am also in the lead and in control — that suits me and is what I am used to. I have been interested in BDSM since my hormones kicked in during the teenage years, and experimented with dominant and submissive roles before settling on the submissive side in recent years. I suppose that has to do with maturing and succeeding in various ways — I just hit forty and continue to grow into more senior roles at work with increasingly much control and responsibilities, and it feels fitting and arousing for me to have the opposite in sexual life, letting go of control and submit.
My excitement and arousal probably stems from the contradiction with everyday life, and with what people normally expect from me and what is socially accepted and considered normal. Also, I very much like the idea of a woman, physically smaller and weaker than a big guy like me, taking control of me and making me obey against my natural tendencies and upbringing. I like a woman to order me around, push my buttons, and turn me into a horny, obedient submissive that will do almost anything to be allowed to orgasm. I have a high confidence and self-esteem and get quite a kick out of being put in my place with humiliation and degradation.
In this context, I started to look for an opportunity to play Clothed Female, Naked Male (CFNM) fantasies via webcam. The thought of having the lady in control turned me on, knowing she may choose to stay dressed and order me around while having me strip naked, put on display, and inspect me for her entertainment. I would love to see her naked but quite like the thought of leaving the decision whether and how much she wants to show off entirely up to her. I just love the thought of handing over control and not being able to escape her gaze and attention.
My first few tries were not as much fun as I hoped because many webcam girls just go through the motions without genuine involvement, and most self proclaimed dominants are not actually dominant at all. While quite understandably so, this renders the games not as much fun and rewarding as they could be. Until I ran into Jesse. She caught me somewhat off guard in our first game with her enthusiasm, level of energy, and total focus on the scene at hand, making the game a lot of fun. She is very playful, loves to control me, and make me obey her every whim. I found her through her CFNM web site and, after a little chat exploring interests, that is how we started off. That first time, I ended up stripping and masturbating under her close watch and inspection until she allowed me to cum hard all over my floor, leaving me as embarrassed as I was satisfied. And she has pushed things a lot further since.
Between time zone differences and our busy schedules, there can be some time in between games but we continue to play with regularity. Jesse likes to explore and occasionally push my (soft) boundaries to play with my feelings of embarrassment and arousal. Having noticed my eagerness to be controlled, she decided one Friday night to have some fun with that, extending the game off cam to turn me into her “naked house pet” for the weekend. She controlled me throughout the weekend, keeping me naked day and night and almost constantly horny and distracted. She forbid me to have orgasms and ordered me to masturbate and edge for up to an hour and a half at the time while watching femdom porn online, leaving me rock hard and aching for her attention.
She regularly checked in on me by cam to have me perform for her, on my knees, in heat, and desperate to cum, while mocking me for being such a horny slut. Jesse teased me, stripping ever so slowly to expose that hot, sexy body of hers and bringing herself to a sweet orgasm while having me watch in frustration. The funny thing is, the more she teased and denied me, the more submissive I got and the more eager I became to please her. Sexual frustration and horniness can induce such a lovely contradiction in feelings and desires to play with. Fortunately for her naked house pet, she was so sweet to end that weekend of tease and denial torture by allowing me a long, hard orgasm that had me see stars and left me exhausted, relieved, humiliated, and extremely relaxed and satisfied. Online sex doesn’t get any better than this.
We don’t often have a full weekend but regularly play games and they keep getting better, especially now that she added orgasm control as an additional, extra powerful way to control me even more. We have a standing agreement that she at all times decides if, when, and how I get to cum in a game (and the rest of that day), and I try to not have an orgasm for a day or two before we play to make the game more intense. It is remarkable how obedient, attentive, and focussed a man gets when he depends on a woman for his next orgasm, and Jesse just loves rubbing that in. She is not shy to use that power to push my soft boundaries, having me squeeze and slap my balls for her entertainment and even threatens to make me taste cum. To date, she has always allowed me an orgasm but only after making me beg ever more for it. The threat is always there and she may at any point in time decide to deny me, or have me ruin my orgasm for her entertainment. Time will tell.
A big reason our games are so much fun is that Jesse genuinely loves what she is doing and oozes enthusiasm throughout the game. She just loves to control a man, toy with him, and make him obey her every whim. And I just love to be controlled and to obey. Moreover, we talk and connect beyond the game itself, and get to know each other as normal people which, in turn, enhances the games even more. I mean, I love being controlled and humiliated by a hot girl who puts in the effort from her side, but it is so much more embarrassing to be ordered around, toyed with, and humiliated by somebody who knows you, a friend more than a stranger. Beyond that sexy body of hers, she is a great person that is smart, educated, and a lot of fun to talk with. And who has a wicked mind that is not limited by inhibitions, as a result of which I have gotten used to having to work increasingly hard for my orgasms while earning increasingly intense orgasms in return.