This post is all about the real sex parties that go down every weekend in the suburbs of just about every major American city. You’d be surprised at how many of your very own neighbours have either been to these carnal get togethers, or attend them on a regular basis. I live in a city of roughly 1 million residents that accommodates no less than six swinger clubs. And each one of them is packed every weekend. But these numbers don’t include the private sex parties that are held in private residences. These parties tend to be smaller affairs with 10 or less participants, while others can feature dozens of couples and singles sharing in their favorite hobby. And it all happens very discreetly, behind closed doors in otherwise normal middle class neighbourhoods.
So how do you get invited to these private sex parties? There are many strategies, and today we will look at the pros and cons of each.
Swinger clubs are lots of fun. Whether you attend an on-premise club (where sex is allowed) or an off-premise (where nothing goes further than the flirting stage), I can promise you one thing – you’re going to engage with some of the most down to earth people you’ll ever meet. Expecting attractive, sex starved couples who can wait to jump your bones? Sorry to disappoint you. Real swingers come in all shapes and sizes, and the clubs are much more about socializing that they are about sex. Do note however, that on premise swinger clubs cater to a more sexually adventurous crowd.
The benefit of attending a swingers club is that it won’t take you very long to meet other open minded individuals and you’ll soon enough be on the inside track to private sex parties. You’ll also get to meet couples face to face before deciding to take things to the next level, which is also a nice benefit.
The cons are few, but important to note. The first is privacy and confidentiality. You’ll be in a somewhat public venue where people congregate to meet others for possible sexual encounters. Depending on the size of the city you live in, that can be problematic. The second issue can be a real show stopper (but don’t despair, we have other suggestions listed below). Most swinger clubs only accept couples or single females, although some do accept single males on specific nights.
Online Sex Personals
Adult personals offer many tools to help you discover your city’s underground sex scene. There are lots of sex personals sites on the internet, but I use AdultFriendFinder (AFF) because they have the most members and the site isn’t inundated with endless fake profiles. There are other services as well, such as XXX Blackbook that are pretty good. But for the purposes of this blog post, I’m going to write about AFF because it’s what I have experience with.
There are three sections you can use on AFF to find local sex contacts for your geographic area. The main personals, the text chat rooms and the video chat rooms. Each has it’s pros and cons. I should first disclose that I have a basic membership on AFF. Some of the techniques I will describe only work if you have a membership. Other areas of the site, such as the video chat rooms, can be accessed without paying for a membership. A membership on AFF is still cheaper than a few drinks at a bar, so whichever way you decide to go, it’s not going to break the bank.
The first technique involves using the adult personals database to find people who are seeking similar sexual adventures. But before you do, it’s important to complete your AdultFriendFinder profile with as many details as you can. The reason for this is that before anyone replies to your messages, they will most certainly take time to check out your profile to see what you’re all about. And the more detail you provide (including photo), the more responses you’ll get. It’s that simple. An incomplete profile will be quickly ignored. I am speaking from experience here.
Once your profile is completed, you’ll be ready to begin your search. AdultFriendFinder has a great search engine with tons of filters that can help you zero in on exactly what you’re looking for. The more details you can provide the search engine, the better. Looking for a woman who’s into the CFNM fetish (Clothed Female Naked Male) and likes well hung men with blond hair? Just type that in and see what comes up. And don’t forget to include both geographic filters and body type specifications. Details really matter here.
Once you have whittled down your search to a few dozen candidates, carefully review each profile and tag the ones you find interesting. For potential invites to a swinger club, search for couples seeking a single male. Many swinger clubs will allow couples to bring a third person (referred to in Swinger lingo as a Unicorn) in with them. And remember to check if your selections have included any multimedia features in their profiles. Many couples add either audio or video clips to their profiles to give you a better idea of who they are and what they look like.
The second technique to get a sex party invite on Adult Friend Finder is to hang out in one of the hundreds of adult chat rooms, many of which are organized by geographical location. These rooms tend to cater to specific fetishes, so try to find the group sex or swinger chat room that caters to your area. The trick to mastering the chat rooms is to go slow. People in these rooms already all know each other (either offline or online) and they tend to be quite tribal. Start by observing and getting a feel for the room and it’s protocols. Once you feel you understand the climate, jump in with a simple greeting message indicating that you are new and looking forward to participating in the group chat. Before long you’ll be a regular, and messaging with many people who’ll have the inside scoop on local sex parties.
The third technique is the video chat rooms. The AdultFriendFinder video chat rooms tend to be friendlier that their text based counterparts and feature thousands of people broadcasting their home based webcams at any given time. The video chat windows also feature a text chat area so you can have a conversation with the members who are performing. This matters, because a lot of people who are into webcam sex are also very aware of local sex parties. Find some people from your local area, and chat them up about the underground sex scene in your city. You’ll be amazed of how many great tips you can uncover in these chat rooms.
Local sex shops
Just about every decent size community has at least one adult novelty store. Owners of these sex supermarkets often network with local swinger clubs to help increase their sales. Simply visit your nearest outlet, and look for an in store bulletin board. Local adult events might be advertised there. Sometimes business cards are left near the checkout counter. And don’t be shy to ask the store attendant for information, more often than not they tend to be well informed on the local sex scene.
Seek and you shall find
Regardless of which approach you decide on, sex parties can represent a fun and very social addition to your sex life. Whether you’re seeking a solo adventure, or will be participating as a couple, always remember to practice safe sex. Millions of Americans are infected with and STD, and many aren’t aware of their infections. Sex is always better when you put your health before your pleasure.